Category: Uncategorized

Proof That Hiking Makes You Happier And Healthier

~ Sephira ~ Leave a comment
John Muir was onto something when he said, “In every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks.” Hikers battle bug bites, blisters and bruises for the sake of overcoming a challenge and enjoying some quality time with nature. Bu…

Proof That Hiking Makes You Happier And Healthier

~ Sephira ~ Leave a comment

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hopephd:

Seizure First Aid. 

Learn it. Share it. Know it. Use it. 

100% correct medical information on tumblr for once; also consider calling 911 if you don’t know how often the person has seizures and ESPECIALLY if the seizure has lasted 5 minutes or more (which is why the watch is critical)

Many doctors actually recommend calling emergency services after three minutes if you don’t know what is normal for the person. Also, if they have multiple seizures in a row or they stop breathing normally, call for help, take them to the hospital, just get them medical attention.

The best thing you can do for them is to remain calm and do whatever they need to help them, up to and including getting them medical care.

Also remember that seizures can cause memory loss. It won’t usually be permanent or severe, but it can happen. If they don’t recognize you, or they don’t know what’s happening, stay calm, reassure them, and keep them calm.

Remember: if you think it’s scary, imagine how it feels for the person dealing with them. If you panic, they will very likely panic as well. But if you stay calm, you can generally keep them calm as well.

-Persephone (I have a friend with a seizure condition who has needed to be hospitalized twice since I’ve known her)

This is really great because I have seizures every so often. Very informative.

10 Things You Learn When You’re in a Good Relationship

~ Sephira ~ Leave a comment

1. Misunderstandings are inevitable.
Misunderstandings are going to happen. If you take your partner’s words one way, then learn they meant something totally different, don’t punish him or her. Let it go. Bringing it up all the time is only going to bruise the relationship and cause communication problems later. Sometimes what you say or do will be taken the wrong way, and you’ll get frustrated that your partner doesn’t understand. Take a step back and realize it’s not a big deal. Misunderstandings only become problems if you let them grow bigger and mean more in the scope of your relationship. Be laid-back and forgive misunderstandings.

2. Trust.
You have to trust your partner. Why would you share your life with someone when you think they’re doing something wrong every time you turn your back? If you don’t trust your partner to be faithful, honest, caring or anything else, then you’re not in a good relationship. The best relationships begin with a deep trust, and even if problems come up (and they will!), the trust is strong enough to keep you together.

3. Let yourselves miss each other.
You’re in love, so you want to be together all the time! It’s so fun to cuddle all night and be together all day, but when will you have time to experience different things? When you go to separate work places or schools, you’re experiencing things that will give you something to talk about later. When you go out with your friends and your partner spends time with theirs, then you’re having time and space to yourself, then coming back to each other refreshed. You have a chance to miss each other, and it helps you really understand the value of your relationship. Missing someone is great because getting to see them after that period will make you so happy and so sure of your relationship.

4. Encourage growth and change.
In a good relationship, both partners are encouraged to grow and change. You have one life to live – you should explore it to the fullest! If you want to quit your job and go back to school, your partner should support you. If you want to try something new or go back to something old, you should find support in your relationship. And you should give this support in return. Encourage your partner to explore hobbies and interests and meet new people. If you want your partner to stay the same, you’re going to have a very boring life together.

5. Compromising doesn’t mean you’re weak.
Compromising doesn’t mean “giving in.” It doesn’t mean that you lost the fight. In fact, it’s the opposite. Do you know how hard it is to compromise sometimes? You want your way because it sounds right and makes sense to you. Your partner is way off base with their suggestions. Take a step back and look at the argument diplomatically. What’s the logical conclusion? If your partner is right, don’t be afraid to say so. Accept their way, or modify both of your solutions to be half and half. The important thing is not getting your way, it’s staying in your relationship and helping it grow. Compromising will definitely help your relationship grow.

6. Admit your weaknesses.
Your partner doesn’t expect you to be a superhero, and hopefully you don’t expect that of them! We’re all human; we all have flaws. It’s OK to let these show. In fact, to have a stable, serious relationship, you need to let your weaknesses be known. Your partner will be more sensitive to things that bother you, and can help build you up in areas where you need some help.

7. Sometimes you can only accept things, not fix them.
People have baggage. You have some. Your partner has some. Can you go back and erase all of this? Nope! You’re stuck with it, and have to learn to deal with it. Some things are easier to get over than others, but the reality is that sometimes, you can’t fix things. You can’t make problems go away. You have to accept it and get over it and move on, or else your relationship will crumble.

8. Forgive quickly and truly.
Whenever you have a fight, don’t worry about who wins or who loses. Learn from the fight – from what was said as much as from how it was resolved. Once you learn from a fight, you can apply that lesson to your relationship to avoid trouble later. That’s all well and good, but you’re not done! Forgive your partner! Forgive yourself. The fight is over, you’re past it, now let it go. Never hold anything against your partner, because the resentment will build until you don’t want to be with them.

9. Never expect anything.
Don’t expect your partner to read your mind, or to bring you breakfast in bed, or to offer to wash the dishes. It’s not going to happen. You can’t expect anything from anyone – you have to make your desires known. Communicate. Make sure your partner knows what you expect from the relationship, as well as your opinions on a wide variety of issues. This will help them act considerate towards you, but still – don’t expect anything!

10. Show your feelings.
The worst thing you can do in a relationship is play games. Don’t tease your partner; don’t “reward” good deeds with love and affection. You have to make sure your partner always feels loved. You can be happy with them or be mad at them – it doesn’t matter – they just need to feel loved. They need to know your feelings in the moment as well, don’t get me wrong. But make sure you’re showing your feelings in a way so they won’t be misunderstood (back to #1!).

10 Things You Learn When You’re in a Good Relationship

Don’t Call Robin Williams’ Death a Waste

~ Sephira ~ Leave a comment

sonneillonv:

Suicide isn’t “giving up” or “giving in.” Suicide is a terrible decision made by someone whose pain is so great that they can no longer hold it, and feel they have no other option in life but to end it. It’s a decision you can’t t…

When people describe a suicide as a ‘waste’ IDK it pushes buttons inside me.  When I was younger, and when I was so depressed I was considering suicide, my primary reason was feeling like I was already a waste – a waste on peoples’ time, a waste on their resources, a waste of their affection.  I’d been convinced that I was completely selfish, that I took and took without giving back, and that I only caused misery to others by being alive because I was so thoughtless.  I was convinced that, after a brief mourning period, their lives would be better if I wasn’t around to ruin them anymore.

Now I’m an adult and I understand that when a thirteen-year-old feels that way, it’s because the adults in their life have failed them.  Kids, as we say in the SPN fandom, are supposed to eat your food and break your heart.  A teenager being self-absorbed is developmentally normal, especially when that teenager is being relentlessly bullied, is friendless, is struggling with school, and otherwise has plenty of misery going on in their own lives that prevents them from being terribly interested in other peoples’.  I stopped being suicidal when someone told me it was okay to care about myself first.  I had literally never heard that before.  I thought I had to justify my own existence.  I thought if I wasn’t satisfying other people, if I wasn’t making other people happy, then I didn’t deserve to live.

When people talk about ‘waste’, what are we wasting?  Are we wasting their time by forcing them to grieve?  Are we wasting their resources by demanding their attention?  ”You’re wasting the rest of your lives”.  Okay, fine, but they’re OUR lives.  They aren’t yours.  You aren’t entitled to them.  You don’t get to obligate us to continue in misery because our deaths would affect YOU.  People who say suicide is selfish, or a pointless waste, make me furious because they want us to just continue living on in abject misery, the kind of misery that makes us literally want to die… why?  Because they’re entitled to us?  Because we owe it to them?  Because their discomfort is worth more than our agony?

I don’t support suicide.  I don’t want anyone to commit suicide.  But I understand why.  And I understand that half the time, the people who claim people who kill themselves are wasting their lives, or being selfish, don’t actually have any interest in fixing the real problems, because that’s too much work; it costs too much; it requires too much time and too much care.  If you actually cared about helping people who are in agony, you wouldn’t call them selfish for wanting to escape it, and you wouldn’t call that escape a ‘waste’.  You’d call it a tragedy, because whatever could have been done to make life bearable HERE was not done.  A solution was not found.  The pain was not eased.  And only one escape was left.

I’m still depressed, but I’m better now.  I haven’t been in a suicidal state for more than ten years.  I was able to change my circumstances enough that the people who had instilled those toxic beliefs in me no longer had control over me, and I had a daemon at my side reminding me that it is okay, that it is healthy, to care about my own self-interest.  Now my husband is in the hospital because, like Robin, he is bipolar.  He’s been depressed, without a manic swing, for three months, and it’s only getting worse.  He’s hurting himself, and he’s looking for a way out.  But he has a way out that isn’t killing himself – there is a good hospital close to us where he knows the doctors and feels comfortable, where they will listen to him and adjust his medication.  He has a wife and a son who understand his illness, who support him and NEVER blame him, and who will gladly take on the challenge of handling his affairs in his absence because we are his team, and we are on his side.

Despite all this, I honestly believe I’ll lose him one day.  It gets worse, it doesn’t get better.  The progression of his condition has been so severe over the course of six years that I’m scared to contemplate where we’ll be in ten.  And I’m resigned to that.  I accept it.  I love him for the time he’s here, and I want to ease as much of his pain as it’s in my power to do.  I’m furious that I’m so impotent and I can’t do more because when you love someone you don’t want them to suffer.

Robin Williams was in pain.  Now he isn’t anymore.  I’m grieved for the suffering he endured, and for his family and friends who are suffering now.  Losing a battle like this is terrible and tragic and heartbreaking.  We all wish we could have done better by him.  And if you want others to avoid following his example, we need to do better by them.  We have to ease the pain HERE.  We have to make good care accessible to them HERE.  We have to fight stigma and support members of our community HERE.  It may not always end up being enough, because most of the time it gets worse, not better.  But we should do it because people are suffering, and they need help, and they don’t have to earn the right to their own existence.  They don’t owe us their suffering.  We owe them relief.

Don’t Call Robin Williams’ Death a Waste

Today’s Victories

~ Sephira ~ Leave a comment

nearconstantsadness:

When I was discharged from the hospital, I was put in an out-patient program to educate on mental health and coping strategies.  One of the biggest things that our teacher, C, taught us, was that despite the things that DO go wrong, there is a success not far away.

I got inspired to start posting my daily successes, which I called ‘Victories’, before I went to sleep at night.  Most days I was good about it, some days I slipped.  I’m going to endeavour to write them here and start up again, because it’s inspired some of my friends.  If I, a simple little lady from Canada, can inspire someone, then shit, I might as well keep on going.

So today’s victories are:

Woke up despite an exhausting night.
Made it to my counselling appointment.
Took care of the baby despite the exhaustion.
Had a fun visit with my grandmother.
Overcame some hefty grumpiness during the day.
Problem-solved an issue with the house.