i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second
anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk
and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something
paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.
i say, paul.
is that a nerf gun.
yeah, says paul.
i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.
he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?
and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–
a foam dart hits me in the leg.
i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.
i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.
no dart this time. okay. sweet.
so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about it
anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what’s all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools.
The “I won’t hesitate, bitch” vine but @ friends who don’t love themselves
Here’s a thought I had about how therapy & treatment works (vs how many people imagine it works). This is based on my experience with depression and chronic illness, but I hope it applies more broadly as well.
Imagine you have to take a road trip on a deserted road alone. Halfway through the trip your engine starts to splutter and the car breaks down. What do you do?
A lot of people imagine that therapy and treatment is like calling a mechanic to come and fix your car for you. You make the call, and then you just have to wait around until the mechanic has fixed the problem, and your car is good as new! Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that. There is no on-call mechanic. No-one is able to fix this car except for you.
Instead, it’s like you pull a toolbox out of the trunk, pop open the hood, and dial up the mechanic on the phone. You have to try and describe the problems as clearly as possible, and follow the advice they give you as well as you can.
Sometimes you won’t understand the advice, and you’ll need them to explain it again or suggest something else. Sometimes you’ll do what they say and the car still won’t run, and they won’t be able to explain why, only give you something new to try. Sometimes you’ll think you fixed the problem and start driving, and the car will break again two minutes down the road. No matter what happens, it’s going to be hard and messy and frustrating work.
But at the end of it, not only will your car be running again, but you’ll know how to fix it now. Which isn’t to say that you’ll never need another mechanic again, but next time you get stuck, it’ll be that little bit easier to handle.
So keep at it everyone, and good luck on your journeys!
Can you call up a therapist and be like “hi, I’m therapist shopping”? Can you schedule an appointment with a therapist and then be like “actually I have some questions and I want to spend part of this appointment talking about your practice and whether or not it is garbage?”? Are you expected to phone interview/screen your therapists if you are shopping around for a therapist?
If you’re seeing one therapist are you supposed to/not supposed to tell them if you start seeing another therapist? Is it possible to cheat on your therapist?
I know this one! Or, at least, I know a way to do it, because I’ve done it.
1) When you call them up (or email them, which I prefer, because PHONE, EW), you ask if they’re taking new patients.
2) If they say yes, say something along the lines of “Great! I’m looking for a new therapist. Would it be possible for me to schedule an appointment so we can see whether we’d be a good fit for one another?”
IF THEY SAY NO, THEY DON’T DO ‘INTERVIEWS’: they’re a dick, you don’t want them anyway, don’t bother to make an appointment
3) Assuming everything is a go, head over to the appointment. Bring your notebook, pen, and questions. Also, if possible, have a very brief rundown prepared of what you’d like to accomplish with your therapy (or even what you think your biggest issues are).
4) Introduce yourself. Reiterate that you want to see if the two of you would be a good fit, so [a nice little social laugh or smile here, while holding up your notebook] you brought questions.
IF THEY DON’T LIKE THAT: they’re a dick, you don’t want them anyway, cut the meeting short
5) Give the rundown of what you want, what your issues are, whatever. See how they react.
IF YOU FEEL WEIRD AT ALL ABOUT THEM: they may not be a dick, but if you don’t feel comfortable with them, then it’s going to be a shit therapeutic relationship
6) Ask your questions — about their therapeutic approach, why they entered the field, whether they feel comfortable working with *your* needs (I, for instance, specifically told my awesome therapist that I needed her to tell me absolutely nothing about her personal life or experiences — as much as possible, I needed a blank wall to bounce things off of. It’s been years now, and I THINK she’s seen at least a couple of episodes of Doctor Who. I THINK. That’s all I’ve got. It’s amazing).
AGAIN, IF YOU FEEL WEIRD ABOUT THEM: go with your gut — your therapy is not the time or place to try and soldier through
7) By this point, you’ve probably hit the 45 minute mark, and you’ll know if you want to see this person again.
IF YES, say that this was a really great meeting, and you’d like to set up a regular appointment.
IF NO, say “Thanks for meeting with me.” If it wasn’t too terrible, feel free to add in whatever social niceties you want to lessen the blow (“I have appointments with a few other people, still, but thank you again!”), or you could just skedaddle as soon as possible.
IF YOU’RE NOT SURE, go a bit heavier with the social nicety: “I still have appointments with a few other people, but I really enjoyed our meeting. I’ll let you know as soon as possible if I’d like to schedule another one. Thanks again!”
Regarding current therapists: If they’re toxic, get rid of ‘em before you even start interviewing others. Nobody needs that kind of garbage. Otherwise, you could keep seeing them while you interview others, and then the second you find one you like (and you schedule your next appointment), get rid of your current one. You don’t have to say why — just say that you’d like to cancel future appointments. Do it over email, if you want. If you like them, you can tell them that you just need something different now, but that you “really appreciate all the work we’ve done together” or something. If you don’t like them, just cancel. They don’t need to know jack.
IF YOUR CURRENT THERAPIST SAYS SHIT ABOUT YOUR LEAVING — and I mean anything other than a positive hope for you in the future — then they were a dick and you were right to find someone else. Who needs passive-aggressive bullshit from a therapist? Nobody, that’s who.
So that’s my philosophy/style with regard to therapist shopping — I may be completely wrong, but it’s worked for me so far. Good luck!
I feel like the headline is a little misleading in that this is a HUGE list of resources where one can get help with paying for things that are sometimes essential to care and/or quality of life, which are often cost prohibitive for those who are on limited budgets.
The combination of olfactory and tactile stimming would be quite calming, I think.
Liesel, Mod.
so the ones shown here are the “kids” versions – the stuff they aim to help with are more aimed at children (bed wetting, travel sickness)
that website looks like it’s an awesome resource for finding stim toys and stuff… but there’s one major issue: they don’t ship outside australia…
good news is: there are ADULT ones that you can buy CHEAPER and NOT IN AUSTRALIA
((while there is a lot of overlap in the kids’ vs adults’ mohdoh purposes, there are some exclusively adult clays, such as one which helps relieve symptoms of addiction))
you can check out their website to get more information on what each one does, and you can buy it a lot more inexpensively than the listed website if you go on amazon (amazon unfortunately doesn’t seem to have the kids one’s listed if you were more interested in those, but you can find them on mohdoh’s “kids” website or this one has a deal if you get 4)
Right now, I am more worried about you. The way you are talking about yourself worries me because you say you’re “not a safe person” and you’re “scared [you] might do something.” If you are going through difficult things right now, I would urge you to reach out to someone who can help: a friend, loved one, relative, doctor, teacher, counselor, etc. If you can’t promise your friend that you can stay safe, then actions need to be taken to help you feel better and get back on your feet. Your well-being is just as important as your friend’s. Both of you cannot help each other until you have helped yourselves.
Suicide Prevention
Help Guide A site containing articles to help understand, help numbers, “tool kits”, and self help.
Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful.
Volunteers of America Learn information about suicide, understanding suicide, and handling suicidal threats.
Feeling Suicidal? Please take a moment to read this post on how to cope with suicidal thoughts.
Want to help someone who is feeling suicidal? This post on suicide prevention might help.
BlahTherapy is run by and was founded (April 2010) by a single individual who has had moments just like you – where we really needed to speak to someone.
Today, BlahTherapy connects you with random strangers around the world who are willing to talk to you about your problems, as well as sharing their own. As a community, we’ve found that talking through our emotional, psychological, or mental issues is one of the best methods of releasing our anger, stress, depression or pain. Sharing and connecting with other strangers who are going through a struggles just like you provides great consolation to anyone in need of healing or a friend.
Reblogging in honor of the last day of Social Work Month. These arent ranked in any particular order so check them all out. If I missed you just let me know!
yo I’m reblogging this because it can seriously help folks out, definitely a list worth keeping.
I wrote this about a week back and hadn’t planned on posting it in my fandom space, but a fandom friend said something to me about it that made me rethink that decisions. This is a discussion of clinical depression and everything that comes with it. If any of that is triggering, I’d give this a…
1. I’m aware of what I have. I suspect many people with severe clinical depression are. And we ARE grateful for it. But being grateful is not equal to being happy, or even NOT DEPRESSED.
Depression is a chemical misfire of the brain. It’s not sadness. Sadness will come and go. Depression, if treatment-resistant, may not. And unlike “A Beautiful Mind” would have the average person believe, mental illness is not actually something you can reason your way out of.
I can no more say to myself, “It is a pretty day and breakfast was delicious and I love my dog,” and force myself out of the depression than someone without an arm can regrow that limb out of the awareness that things would be so much easier.
I almost didn’t go to therapy today, because I feel like my problems are common place, and can be solved by common sense, and I don’t want to take up time and resources that could be used by other people. And Therapist said: “You’re not ever wasting my time. You’re bi-polar, and that’s really hard for a lot of different reasons, and I’m someone who understands that. I’m here to help you.”
So now I’m crying off and on at a cafe because I’ve seen four therapists throughout my life and still don’t feel like I have a handle on how to deal with being bipolar, and I SHOULDN’T feel selfish or guilty for going to therapy. I still do, but I shouldn’t, and I’m working on treating my feelings—even the obvious ones, or ones I thought I worked through in the past—like they’re legitimate and important.
arsenicjade’s post convinced me to go to my appointment today.
This was really good to read today, for almost the same reasons. Thank you both.
Holding the Bowl 