Tag: parenting

~ Sephira ~ Leave a comment

holdingthebowl:

HALLOWEEN TIPS FOR FAMILIES OF CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS
  1. Before You Plan Your Halloween Fun
  2. How to Make a Halloween Costume for a Child with Sensory Integration Dysfunction
  3. Halloween Costumes for Kids in Wheelchairs
  4. How to Make an Emergency Last-Minute Costume
  5. Halloween on a Restricted Diet
  6. Halloween “Trick or Treat” Cards and Sign
  7. Treats Too Tricky? Try Some Sweet Charity
  8. 12 Ways to Use Up Halloween Candy
  9. How Do You Celebrate Halloween With a Child With Special Needs?
  10. Halloween With Special Needs: Tell Your Scariest Story
  11. What Do You Do With Leftover Candy?

Parenthood

~ Sephira ~ Leave a comment

ofcourseitsmyhead:

Being a parent with a disability is an incredible experience. And I don’t necessarily mean that in a good way.

Sometimes, it means that your child will see you throw a temper tantrum over toppling a plastic cup. Because that plastic cup falling over was the last thing you needed after waking up too early, not eating enough, changing so many outfits, and putting everything else first.

Sometimes, it means that your child will see you sobbing on the floor for what looks like no reason, and then they will come to your side and offer comfort because they’ve been there too. And they don’t even know that grown-ups should have a ‘better handle’ on crying. They just know that mommy is sad, so let’s hug her and be close because that might make her feel better. Most of the time, it does.

Sometimes, it means that your child will ask you if they can hug you when they see you slump, because they know something’s up before you do. A teeny little hug can make an entire day better, of course.

Sometimes, it means that your child starts to sob hysterically because they’re scared of the machine daddy’s putting on mommy’s back. They don’t know it’s supposed to make mommy better, or that it’s harmless to them. They just know mommy’s plugged into something and it looks weird.

Sometimes it means that you can’t pick up your kids even if you want to, because the physical pain is like torture. Even if it’s not hurting now, it’ll hurt later, and you know it.

Sometimes, it means that you can’t be a parent for a day or two. And you still love your kids, even if they’re consuming more energy than you have to give.

~ Sephira ~ Leave a comment

glowinglotusstars:

trebled-negrita-princess:

40blockstothemiddle:

musicbringsuslifewhenwearedead:

littleandlovingit:

i-am-a-little-boy:

c0me-0n-skinny-l0ve-x0:

rangerwarrior123:

Just went into my room to cut and I open my box where I keep my blades and this is what I found

Parenting; you’re doing it right. 

image

Queued

no words needed

Beautiful.

every parent should see this and take notes omg

This genuinely made me cry. Holy shit. I’ve struggled with self harm for six years, and I’m now expecting a baby girl a few months from now. I hope my daughter never has to go through this, but if she does, this is EXACTLY what I’ll do.

I swear our generation is going to be the best parents when it comes to dealing with our kids’ depression…

FACTS ^^^^

~ Sephira ~ Leave a comment

enernies-with-benefits:

When i was a kid my mom and i had a code word to let her know when i needed her to say no. For instance if a kid at school asked me to come over and stay the night but i really didnt want to, id call my mama and ask her, and then end it with “please, Mom?” I never call my mama Mom, just Mama or Moomoo, so she would know immediately to say that I was grounded or had too much homework or some other bullshit. We also had a system the other way around, so if i called her to see how her date was going and she needed an out, she would call me babydoll and id tell her i heard scary noises and was frightened and needed her to come home or something.
Anyways, my point is that every family should hqve a system of codes to keep them safe. Go do that.

4 Types of Unhealthy Mother-Daughter Relationships

~ Sephira ~ Leave a comment

onlinecounsellingcollege:

1. Bosom Buddies: This is where the mother wants to be her daughter’s best friend. The relationship is usually warm and close, and the mother prides herself on always being there to emotionally support and advise her daughter. Communication is open, honest and real – which can start to feel threatening as the daughter gets older and wants to erect appropriate boundaries. In this type of mother-daughter bond, the mothers lives vicariously through her daughter and find it hard to discipline appropriately (as she’s too enmeshed with her daughter’s life).

2. Boss and Subordinate: This is where the mother wants to dominate and control every aspect of her daughter’s life. She’s always giving her opinion, making demands, and requiring her daughter to follow her rules, or live up to the expectations she has set. She’s also rigid, harsh and may lack empathy. Although the daughter may comply in her younger years, she is quietly resentful and will likely rebel – either strongly and loudly, or in a more passive way. She may feel she must be “perfect”, have low self-esteem and fear rejection and judgement by others.

3. Rivals: This is where the mother sees her daughter as a rival or threat so she’s always in competition with her. Thus, instead of seeing each other as completely separate people, and allowing each other to simply be themselves, the mother and daughter are constantly comparing themselves to see which one is thinner, smarter, prettier or more successful in life. This is usually done in a fun-loving way, and the bond they share is understanding and strong. However, it can lead to a feeling of not being seen, valued and accepted as they are – and unconditionally.

4. The Role-Reversal Relationship: This is where the mother expects her daughter to be there to support and bolster her. She has no concern for her daughter’s needs as her focus is ensuring her daughter nurtures her. This is clearly unhealthy as the daughter feels abandoned, and grows up feeling neglected and used. As a child, the daughter’s learned she must sacrifice herself and only think others, and their needs and preferences. This can lead to being a doormat, and to low self-esteem.

Communicating with Children: You Make the Difference

~ Sephira ~ Leave a comment

Rule #1: Listen! Listen! Listen!

When your children want to talk, stop everything. If you continue what you were doing, they will think you don’t care and don’t have time for them. Avoid jumping in and not letting them vent or discuss their concerns, worries, and fears. In life, sometimes we all need a shoulder to cry on. At times, we don’t even want advice or comments. Other times, we just want to be heard and to feel like someone shares our pain. A silent and sympathetic ear is sometimes the best thing we can give to our children.

Here are a few words that show we are listening:

  • Tell me more!
  • I know.
  • Wow!
  • That is just awful.
  • I am here.
  • Go ahead; let it out.

Rule #2: Remember, there is power in choice.

When you are talking to your children, give them a choice whenever possible. Allow them to feel you are talking with them and asking them rather than talking at them and telling them. Make conversations a two-way street rather than a power struggle.

Rule #3: Avoid untrue statements and things said out of anger and frustration.

Your children will learn to listen and believe when you speak to them truthfully and calmly. Trust and respect come from honesty and sincerity. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it.

Rule #4: Be a source of encouragement.

When your children confide in you, they should feel relieved, inspired, and recharged, rather than guilty or that they are a source of disappointment to you. When they come to you with a problem or situation, offer your ear as well as words of encouragement.

The following are examples of words of encouragement:

  • I know you can handle it.
  • Every problem has a solution, even this.
  • Think it over; you will figure this out.
  • I am here to help you.
  • I went through this at your age, like when…

Rule #5: Make your conversations places of comfort.

Try to step away from being the parent when listening, and put yourself in your child’s shoes. Think about how difficult the conversation may be for your child, and think before you react.

Rule #6: Avoid the 20 questions or drill routine.

Try not to take over the conversation. If children share something with you and feel like they are being scolded or like they are disappointing you, they probably will not let it happen again. As a parent, there will be times when you must address an issue your child discusses with you; be sure you address the behavior or action and not the child.

Rule #7: Make a point of being the initiator.

Out of the blue, follow up on a previous subject of interest before your child comes to you. This reinforces for your child that you care and also brings you into your child’s circle.

Rule #8: Take time to share.

A busy parent is not always the best parent. Drop everything and do something spontaneous like taking in a movie on a school night or doing homework in the park.

Rule #9: Apologize when you are wrong.

If you say something or do something you probably shouldn’t have, say you are sorry. Admit that you too are human and make mistakes.

Rule #10: Love Them!

Don’t just love them…tell them you love them. Show them affection just as you did when they were small. Bake a cake for no occasion, play a game, take a walk after dinner. Show your love by showing them there is no better time spent than with them.

Communicating with Children: You Make the Difference

Anxiety in Kids: How to Turn it Around and Protect Them For Life – Hey Sigmund – Karen Young

~ Sephira ~ Leave a comment

journeyers-scrapbook:

Anxiety in kids can be particularly distressing but they respond well to intervention. Here’s are the skills that will build them and protect them for life.

I just read this and am going to read it again with my teenage daughter who has been dealing with anxiety for years. I know a lot of folks on Tumblr also suffer with anxiety and I’m sharing this because it might contain some helpful suggestions.

Anxiety in Kids: How to Turn it Around and Protect Them For Life – Hey Sigmund – Karen Young