- the fact that a person is still alive doesn’t mean they’re fine
- the fact that a person still goes to school or job doesn’t mean they’re fine
- the fact that a person smiles to you, tells jokes to you, argues with you doesn’t mean they’re fine
- when a person is telling you, they are depressed and/or want to die, it doesn’t mean they’re lying or trying to attract your attention
Quite often depressed people aren’t able to express their real emotions right.
One day you will lose them and will ask yourself a question, what was wrong and what did you missed.I’m actually very happy to see this.
I’ve dealt with a lot of erasure outside my immediate physical household; particularly from my In-Laws, who are convinced I’m somehow just making it all up so I don’t have to work, or some other blather like that. The thing is, when you have depression? It’s not just working that’s suddenly a chore; it’s the things that other people take for granted. Getting out of bed, doing your hair, making those phonecalls. Each one is a mountain to be climbed, and how many Everests can even a NORMAL person scale in a day? To say nothing of someone who didn’t have the drive to begin with, just because they literally feel that miserable.
I tell people depression is like if you were Sysiphus pushing the boulder uphill; only the hill is icy and the boulder ain’t exactly a pebble and you’re probably doin’ that shiz in the dark.
This hit almost every feels limb out of the relevancy tree.
It’s not like it’s a big deal though, just casually crying over here. I didn’t know how much I needed to see this.
- Just because I lived through that date doesn’t mean I’m fine.
- Just because I’m still in college, and still doing rather well grade-wise, doesn’t mean I’m fine.
- Just because I can roll out the sarcasm while working during shop hours, just because I’m still going into the E-shop and working, doesn’t mean I’m fine.
- Just because I can laugh, smile, and – dare I say it – enjoy a tv show or movie with a friend doesn’t mean I’m fine.
Tag: mental health
Executive Dysfunction
So this was originally a comment on a post about depression and so forth, but it actually occurred to me that it might be more helpful in a tag somewhere where someone might see it, rather than buried in 68k notes. So here’s the thing: I’m not great at explaining what executive functioning problems ARE, but I tried to explain what they feel like.
Looking at a dirty litterbox and a sink full of dishes and going “fuck this noise” and going back on tumblr feels a lot like laziness, even if you are feeling kind of like crying just looking at them. But it can also be your brain being currently incapable of putting together the steps you need to take in order to DO those things, you can’t quite put together that cleaning the litterbox is:
- Get a trash bag
- Get the litter scoop
- Get clean litter
- Open trash bag
- Move litterbox to accessible position
- Crouch down by the litterbox
- Scoop out poop and clumps
- Tie off trash bag
- Add some clean litter to box
- Put litterbox back in its original position
- Put litter scoop away
- Put clean litter away
- Throw away trash bag
When you’re having executive functioning issues, you look at the dirty litterbox and even if you don’t realize it, you can’t work out those steps, you just see the dirty litterbox and know that it needs to be clean and all those steps are mushing together into one big ball of overwhelming stress and you can’t quite figure out where to start, and it takes a LOT of mental and emotional momentum to start, and when you’re depressed or overwhelmed or whatever it can be next to impossible to GET that mental and emotional momentum.
This isn’t the best explanation of executive dysfunction, probably, but it’s the best I’ve got, and it can be awful, and it can make you feel like a lazy useless person when you’re nothing of the sort, and it’s so insidious, because when you’re NOT having these issues it’s the easiest thing in the world to subconsciously put all those steps together and get from “dirty litterbox” to “clean litterbox” without any conscious thought.
This can happen when you’re depressed, if you have ADHD or autism, if you have anxiety… there are a lot of reasons you might run into problems with your executive functioning. It can be simple things like cleaning the litterbox, it can be things you do (or try to do) regularly like your math homework, it can be something like going to the gym or cooking dinner or getting out of bed in the morning.
But the most important thing to take away from this is that there is a huge difference between “I could do this but I really don’t want to” and “I cannot do this”, and when you learn to recognize the difference, you can begin to stop calling yourself “lazy” and “useless” and “worthless” during those times when you CAN’T do this even if you want to.
Yeah, autistic people, people with depression, or ADHD, or anxiety… we can all be lazy sometimes. And that’s okay, it’s normal to be lazy sometimes. And we can still have issues with laziness. But the difference is real, and important, and I feel like not enough people outside of the autistic and maybe ADHD communities realize that this is something that they might be struggling with.
One of my best friends recently told me that if I died he would kill himself. And I know he meant well and that he tought he was just being a good friend but now I just feel scared. I am not a safe person to make that promise to. I am so scared that I might do something and that he will end up dead because of me. I don’t want to bring that kind of pain to his family or friends. I am so worried for him if anything happens
TW: Suicidal ideation
Hi Anon,
Right now, I am more worried about you. The way you are talking about yourself worries me because you say you’re “not a safe person” and you’re “scared [you] might do something.” If you are going through difficult things right now, I would urge you to reach out to someone who can help: a friend, loved one, relative, doctor, teacher, counselor, etc. If you can’t promise your friend that you can stay safe, then actions need to be taken to help you feel better and get back on your feet. Your well-being is just as important as your friend’s. Both of you cannot help each other until you have helped yourselves.
Suicide Prevention
- Help Guide A site containing articles to help understand, help numbers, “tool kits”, and self help.
- Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful.
- Volunteers of America Learn information about suicide, understanding suicide, and handling suicidal threats.
- Feeling Suicidal? Please take a moment to read this post on how to cope with suicidal thoughts.
- Want to help someone who is feeling suicidal? This post on suicide prevention might help.
- The international association for suicide prevention is dedicated to preventing suicidal behavior and alleviating it’s effects. It also has links to forums.
Helping a friend
- Want to help a friend with a mental illness or disorder? This post provides some great tips.
- Want to help a friend or loved one with Social Anxiety? This post provides some great tips.
- How to help a friend experiencing an anxiety or panic attack.
- Helping a friend who has an eating disorder.
- Living with & Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
- NAMI guide on helping a struggling friend
- Helping a friend or family member
- 9 things not to say to someone with mental illness
- ActiveMinds guide to helping a friend you’re worried
- More tips on helping a friend
Getting & talking to a therapist
- This post on picking a therapist has some great tips.
- This is a step by step on getting a therapist.
- Psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist or counsellor?
- 50 Signs of Good Therapy
- Having issues with therapy? Here are 50 Warning Signs of Questionable Therapy
- 21 Tips for getting the most out of each therapy session
- 6 Ways to open up to your therapist
- What should happen in a session
- 5 Tips on how to talk about yourself in therapy
I hope this helps you.
Best,
Lena
You can’t fix yourself, so don’t you dare try to fix someone else. People are not projects. Your words will not cure her depression. Your friendship will not erase his anxiety. Their brokenness is not your opportunity to show off how warm and kind you are. You are not an architect, only a visitor to their house. Come to them on their ground level, love them at their foundations, but do not try to renovate them. Leave your pride out of this.
Something running through my mind last night. (via nonelesstherestless)
help I’m having emotions about a cartoon antidepressant trying to be useful
DID YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY GIF AN ABILIFY COMMERCIAL
yes but look at it, it cares about her and just wants to help her be able to function. It’s like “I know you’re sad. here, I’ll help you.”
LIKE OKAY THOUGH can I explain why this is exceedingly brilliant?? Because when anti-depressants work right, that’s what they DO. They don’t make you happy or emotionless or unhealthy in any way, they make you FUNCTIONAL. They make it so that a depressed person who can barely get out of bed can start to support themselves again and more importantly, start to THINK for themselves again without the permeating presence of depression.
Depression is a cyclical disease, that tells you to think a certain way, and, because you’re depressed, you generally believe it, and then things get worse and worse. The ONLY thing anti-depressants do is to STOP that cycle in its tracks!! Which is something to be ecstatic about and celebrated, even if you don’t realize it at the time, because when you’re depressed, getting out of bed is climbing Mount Everest. Antidepressants help stop that cycle so that one day soon, getting out of bed can JUST be getting out of bed. They don’t even expedite the recovery process in most cases, they just make recovery POSSIBLE IN THE FIRST PLACE. So this little guy is portrayed with a fuckton more accuracy than I ever expected from a commercial.
It’s back and adorable
on a side note, I really dig the art style here
WHO COULD HAVE GUESSED THAT STRESSING OUT A GROUP OF MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE, MAKING THEM JUMP THROUGH A LOAD OF HOOPS TO GET THE BASIC MINIMUM OF SUPPORT, AND THREATEN TO STOP THEIR BENEFITS AND THEREFORE STARVE THEM – IS BAD FOR THEIR MENTAL HEALTH?!
“According to Mind, 83% of people they surveyed said using the programme and the government’s job centre services had made their mental health worse.
Three quarters of those polled said they felt less able to work as a result of being on these schemes, the charity said.
At the same time, the schemes were ineffective for people with mental health problems, as only 5% of people had been helped into work, campaigners claimed.”
[SOURCE]
Yeah, that kind of thing is stupid and never works well. Threatening people doesn’t help them get better.
It’s beautiful. Life is beautiful. Life is challenging and throws many fucking obstacles at you, but it is beautiful. Never forget that.
It’s important to normalize mental illness. It’s important to normalize asking for help with depression or sadness or mental illness or just feeling overwhelmed. It’s important to TALK about these issues without stigma or shame. Doing what you need to do in order to take care of yourself is important because YOU are important.
Thank you for helping the conversation, Tyler Posey.
Depression.
Sometimes it’s screaming and crying and smashing plates
Sometimes it’s numbness and quiet and “oh god why am I not dead”
And sometimes it’s getting up anyways and staying alive, even if you don’t want to
It’s not because I’m lazy, I just can’t function sometimes – H.R (via spiralofsadness)
Holding the Bowl 