Devotional blog dedicated to the Goddess Sigyn offering support to those who are "holding the bowl" within difficult relationships.
You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on.
Here are ten signs that show it’s time to let go:
1. Someone expects you to be someone you’re not – Don’t change who you are for anyone else. It’s wiser to lose someone over being who you are, than to keep them by being someone you’re not.
2. A person’s actions don’t match their words – Don’t listen to what people say; watch what they do. Your true friends will slowly reveal themselves over time.
3. You catch yourself forcing someone to love you – We shouldn’t beg someone to stay when they want to leave. That’s what love is all about – freedom. And the end of love is not the end of life. Sometimes it takes awhile to find the right person, but the right person is always worth the wait.
4. An intimate relationship is based strictly on physical attraction – Being beautiful outwardly shouldn’t be what defines you. Tue love see into the depth of your heart, and values the person you are inside. It loves all the things that make you unique. People who are only attracted to you because of your pretty face or nice body won’t stay by your side forever. But the people who can see how beautiful your heart is will never leave you.
5. Someone continuously breaks your trust – Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting them not to. When you completely trust a person you’ll automatically get one of two results – a friend for life or a lesson for life. Either way there’s a positive outcome. Either you confirm the fact that this person cares about you, or you get the opportunity to weed them out of your life and make room for those who do.
6. Someone continuously overlooks your worth – When you give yourself to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of your soul that you’ll never get back. Sometimes it’s better to let go of someone and accept the fact that they don’t care for you the way you care for them. Let them leave your life quietly.
7. You are never given a chance to speak your mind – Sometimes an argument saves a relationship, whereas silence breaks it. Life is about being honest and sharing your happiness with others.
8. You are frequently forced to sacrifice your happiness – If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance. Know when to close the account.
9. You truly dislike your current situation, routine, job, etc. – The best thing you can do in life is follow your heart. Take risks. Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen. If you do, nothing will ever happen.
10. You catch yourself obsessing over, and living in, the past – What matters most is not the first, but the final chapter of your life. That unveils the details of how well you wrote your story. So let go of the past, set yourself free, and open your mind to the possibility of new relationships and priceless experiences.
Source: http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/04/02/10-signs-its-time-to-let-go/ (Abridged)
Experiences can leave us with some painful memories. They tie us to the past and prevent us moving on. And the only way to freedom is to work on letting go – so these memories don’t haunt us or keep us trapped in pain. Below are some guidelines to help you work on this.
1. Before you can let go, you must face whatever happened and accept that it is part of your past experiences. Suppression doesn’t work as a long-term solution. It can only be a band aid that brings temporary relief. Talk to someone you trust, or write about it in your journal. You need to share what happened, in order to move on.
2. Identify the lessons you have learned from what has happened. There’s always a lesson – so look for what you’ve learned. It doesn’t make it better – but it does lessen its power.
3. Write the lesson down on a piece of paper and repeat it to yourself when you’re hit by old, painful memories. For example, if you’ve been scarred by abuse, then you might write something like: “My experience of abuse does not determine who I am. I’m a stronger person now, and that is not my destiny. I’m choosing my own future, and the person I will be.”
4. Repeat this mantra often so it takes root in your mind. Allow it to be stronger than the bad experience. Say it often, till you mean it, then you’ll start to feel you’re freer. Persevere and keep on fighting when those old memories return.
5. Seek to be a person who’s at peace with themselves. When peace is your focus, old thoughts and memories have much less power over how you think and feel. However, seeking after peace must be a conscious, constant choice.
6. When the past tries to intrude, focus firmly on the present. Ground yourself in what’s happening around you in the room, and try to breathe deeply – and deliberately relax. You are here in this moment; you’re not living in the past.
7. Forgive – for your own sake. Try to heal from what happened – then let resentments go. You don’t want them in your life for they’ll just tie you to the past. It’s not an ease process; it takes work and discipline. But it is worth the daily struggle – as one day you’ll be free.
Holding the Bowl 