context: i have mentioned, several times, that i talk over a great deal of these things with someone else. that’s vee. i met them… not very long before i started to lean towards exploring vali. they are one of the absolute dearest people in my life.
this post is mostly some doubt that was lodged in my head. nothing else was coming out this week—the doubt just kept tearing down all the other drafts i had written. vali keeps validating (hah) emotions and pushing me to vent them.
this post, and how i felt when it was done… well, it’s hard to argue he’s wrong.
———
you wonder when they’re leaving.
you have these people in your life and you tell yourself don’t get too close because you know how this goes. they come in, you change, they leave. what do you have left of your roots anymore? the only people you’d call yours from when you were young wouldn’t ever claim you, and you can’t remember why they talk to you anymore.
don’t get too close. don’t let them put down roots. don’t be the ground to stand on.
don’t don’t don’t
Tag: heathenry
A lot of tumblr paganism has responded to asks dealing with the difficulties of being good to the Gods by giving spells and charms to deal with depression and anxiety. That has never worked for me, and it sometimes feels really simplistic and…misleading almost. What do you think we can do to actually help each other when dealing with mental illnesses instead of answers that do not work?
Hi anon.
For some people who are going through a rough patch, spells and charms like that are a way to hold onto something that can help. But for many more of those, they don’t help, or they are ineffective bandages.
We each have different ways of dealing with mental illnesses, and we need to make our community more open to the many ways that we approach the issue.
I think a good first step is making room for people to be open and safe about talking about mental illness. We need room for education – and education from people who actually have these illnesses or personality disorders! Without this, we will continue to get ineffective bandages. By opening the road for communication, by reducing shame around admitting illness or the problems we are facing, we open the road for better answers to our problems. So the first step we need is open communication.
And don’t think that’s easy! It’s easy on paper, but it’s hard to achieve in communities. Often, without meaning to, we demonize people by saying they are ‘crazy’ or they ‘have problems’ or ‘need to see a therapist’.
I want you to imagine a community that has people who can actually help people get therapy if that is what they need. (And that sort of thing can never and should never come from anons or someone who do not know. If it does, it’s just more ableism and shaming.)
I don’t want to clog this ask with ways to open up communication, though, so I’m going to try to get back to your question.
The second step in actually helping each other is acknowledging that we have different needs. Some people will be able to use spells to hold them through a tough time. Other people need therapy for a short time period to help them through. Other people need long term therapy, or perhaps lifelong. Others need medication. Some people need friends that they can talk to and be honest and open with. Others will need to pursue herbal healing.
We cannot demonize any of these methods. If we truly want to help people, we can’t demonize therapy or medication – or herbal healing or spiritual healing. We do need to make sure that whatever a person is using is actually helping them.
The third step is communal activism. What this means is:
- we keep an eye on each other to make sure people are doing okay – and this means everyone! We have to look out for each other.
- helping people get the resources they need – when you’re depressed or otherwise sick, getting to those resources can be almost if not actually impossible
- we support those who are dealing with illness – in a way they are comfortable with. This means not forcing people to be public about their experiences, and it also means not silencing people.
- if local, we have to make sure that our community members are being treated fairly by the medical establishment and step in to help them if they are not. We cannot let people be hurt when they are seeking help.
- and, finally, we don’t let people use mental illness as an excuse for abusive behavior. We have to make sure that we do not give a pass to abuse because someone is mentally ill. If we do, we are helping no one.
To give good answers for issues like these, we have to truly understand them. We cannot treat them as ‘just in the mind’ (the mind is powerful!), nor can we dehumanize those that have mental illnesses.
To give good answers, we have to listen to each other’s stories. Which, unfortunately, we’re not there yet. We are, currently, a very fast-paced community. That is great in some cases! But when it comes to getting answers that can help us through tough times, or through tough lives, or through dark nights of the soul – fast-paced is exactly the opposite. If we want to give good answers, provide good support, we have to sit ourselves down and open our ears and hearts up to people.
(Cheesy, I know. But when someone listens to us, truly listens, that opens up paths we would never have expected.)
We can’t know your story; we can’t know what you actually need without listening to what is going on. That is how we get good answers. That is how we get more than spells.
Problem: We have ineffective aid for people struggling with mental illness and spiritual crisis.
Ideal Solution: We need people who will patiently listen to people’s lives and stories and help them work through to useful help – whether that is seeking alternative healing, medication and therapy, or something else. In most religions, this person would be a pastoral counselor. We don’t have many of those in Pagan and polytheist communities.
Suggested Solution: Share your story aloud. Talk about what you are going through, your struggles – make a public sort of diary. Do this anonymously if you do not feel safe. Attempting to network with people who have made safe space may also be helpful.
I will attempt to post links to helpful Pagan and polytheist organizations that provide counseling or support later today (4/24).
Thank you for your question, and feel free to respond back if you want to add more.
Sigyn (and Norse deities in general)
I adore Sigyn. I’ve been interested in Norse mythology for… so long, however I was pulled in by Hindu deities – Kali especially. I cannot remember how I first heard of Hel… Which is odd, since this was only a month or so ago! However, when I did, I knew she was a patron deity of mine. I had that feeling. She feels almost like a sister, except a bit more on the formal side. I see her as being a regal, beautiful woman. Yes, I do mean regal. Yes, I do mean beautiful. I feel like she has this presence, this amazing presence that is serious, with a smile here and a warm gesture there. I feel like Hel takes care of her own.
Anyway! Sigyn. When I started reading about Sigyn, I smiled. Yes, it’s a serious situation (is, was or possibly didn’t happen depending on which bit of history you read.) However Sigyn is such a loyal wife, and being a loyal wife myself – and having a loyal wife – I feel like I just understand her love. You must love someone a lot to spend every minute with someone (I should know, because Jen and I do and we couldn’t imagine any other way of living) and take care of them like Sigyn does Loki.
I read last night that some people see her as being weak / abused / etc. because of the life she chose. If what we’ve read is true, if she is holding the bowl or was or will… She’s an amazing example of a wife, of a lover, of a partner, of a friend. She has a lot of strength. She teaches what one does for love.
For some reason, when people need advice, they come to me. I’ve only been in one relationship, and that is with Jen. We started dating when we were young teenagers, and married each other almost seven years ago. We’ve been together for ten. I don’t have experience in the break up department, however people still ask me for advice. So this is what I ask them…
“Can you imagine your life without this person? If yes, maybe you should consider leaving if you feel like that is best. If you can’t, and if they can’t imagine life without you, try everything you can. Maybe your relationship can be saved.”
I can’t imagine my life without Jen. She is my life. My best friend, my wife, my soul mate. My lover. I would sit by her side forever, and she would sit by mine.
In a way, she does. I have bipolar disorder, severe OCD and anxiety. I ask her a 100 times or more a day if this is okay, if that is, and she will answer and she will guide me. She also has bipolar disorder and severe anxiety, and I am there for her. Because I find that she is beautiful, inside and out, even when she doesn’t think she is – and especially when she feels this way about her mental disorders. They’re – for now, at least – a part of who she is and I love everything about her.
Now you have Sigyn. She does what she does because of love. She is strong, and she is selfless and she is loving and I am sure loved in return. You can’t spend that amount of time with someone if you don’t, at least not in my opinion.
I feel like Sigyn isn’t just she who holds the bowl. I feel like she is so much more and those parts of her should be focused on and respected as well.
I think I am starting to ramble. I apologize. But this is so important to me. I can be a real bitch sometimes. My OCD can get the best of me. I sometimes feel like a horrible wife. I feel like Sigyn can calm and guide me when I do. I also feel like she can help me do what is best, be selfless and be strong.
May I ask how you see Sigyn and how you honor her?
Most who see Sigyn as abused are speaking of the Marvel comics and not mythology. There is little to no evidence that Loki has treated her badly. In fact if I recall correctly Loki is called (something along the lines of) Sigyn’s burden at one point in the sagas!
Yes, there is so much more to Sigyn beyond the fact that she holds the bowl, though this is still a important piece!
The *Sigyn tag has much more myth and devotional works then the main Sigyn tag though you can occasionally find gems in there too ^_^
This site is amazing for Sigyn and her family devotion:
http://www.northernpaganism.org/shrines/sigyn/sigyn/who-is-sigyn.html
I have associated her with warmth and strength, loyalty and steadfast nature. As the Lady of Constancy, anything difficult I am having problems seeing through or finished, I dedicate to her.
,I see her as being motherly but never looming over me in a manner that would make me feel insignificant/wrong/guilty. (Affection in an equal manner, as my mother rarely uses her status as my parent over me, I felt the same with Sigyn’s motherly nature). Sigyn is hope, faith and of course, so much love.
I have never envisioned her physically as to me it personally limits the possibility within my own mind. It allows her to be any race or color, because such things are not important when it comes to the Gods.
Loki tagged along with Sigyn after a while, so I try to honor her family as I honor her. Her children and her husband. I have given wine to Sigyn and Loki and they quite enjoyed it. From UPG, Sigyn enjoys lavender, and rose quartz.
I hope that helped, this is the first time I have added my two cents about Sigyn. I can try to find you more resources if you need ^_^
Sigyn’s Son
Firstly—reminder the whole blog is UPG. I feel like I haven’t said that lately. Secondly—I had no idea had anything to say about Sigyn at all; I know last time someone spoke to me about her, I had nothing to contribute. Apparently I’ve been thinking about it. Thirdly—someone tell me if it’s “Sigynsson”, “Sigynson”, or “Sigynarson” because all that happened when I went looking is I got increasingly frustrated by the lack of knowing if the matro/patronymic had a special case ending or simply used the genitive. Anyway.
+
Songbird. A wolf, or wolves. Silence and noise. Narfi’s brother and Narfi’s killer.
I keep coming back to these false dichotomies. Songbird is not exclusive wolf—not when the wolf can be a metaphor for outcast, not when the songbird is a mimic, not when the whole is given to changing shapes around a fixed point. Silence is both quiet and—in the right context—deafening. Loving a brother does not mean not killing him—I’ve talked about that, circle around it over and over and over again even as I try to pull away. Kindness can be its own cruelty, spite does not mean you can’t offer someone else compassion.
Loki’s son.
This was absolutely beautiful and just, lovely. I will have to bookmark this to come back to when I want to read about Sigyn, there is only so about her. This fits the bill so much, and its wonderful to learn of her children too.
MYTHOLOGY MEME – [10/?] NORSE GODS/GODDESSES: SIGYN
“Hail to Sigyn, devoted wife and mother
Comforter to the forsaken
She, who embodies patience,
and braves all unearned scorn.”
From Galina Krasskova’s Litany for Sigyn (“Sigyn: Our Lady of the Staying Power”)
Butterflies: A Meditation on Sigyn
Motion and color. Orange-flecked wingsâ flickering, flowing, flying, flexing. So many of them that you cannot see what they rest upon, simply that there is life, a whirr of scaled wings. September,…
When there is no time for anger.
When there is no time for hate.
When there is only time to move forward,
And take the fate that we have been woven,I hail Sigyn.
Strongest of women.
Wisest of Sufferers.
Martyr without wounds.Yours is a calm unmarred by death,
Yours is a serenity unblemished by pain,
Yours is a will unsundered by burdensI hail Sigyn,
Teacher of patience.
Scholar of will.
Matron of focus.Lady of Temperance,
Allow me to learn your ways
As I pass through the strife in my life.
May it be that no person can move me,
Lest I move myself.Hail Sigyn!
(by Harrison K. Hall)
Holding the Bowl 