Here are some helpful coping techniques for dealing with flashbacks when alone:
Memory Games
One of the easiest ways to cope or manage a flashback is by distraction. Try to remember something challenging such as the lyrics to a particular song, or a favourite poem. This can help interrupt the flashback by redirecting the activity in your brain. For some reason, memory games work well when I am having flashbacks that involved my hearing and balance. Some of the more effective memory games I have used are: humming songs or remembering the lyrics to songs & naming facts I learned in school.
Ice Cube
This has been my most important tool in dealing with physically oriented flashbacks. The technique was actually taught to me by a Viet Nam Veteran who said he used it for every single flashback, adding “usually it helps, but sometimes it can’t.” I have found it to be effective to some degree almost every time I have tried it. The idea is simple, take a fairly large ice cube and hold it tight in one of your hands throughout the flashback. The cold feeling keeps that part of you grounded to some degree and the physical sensation gives you something solid to focus on besides the memory you are reliving. It is important to hold the ice cube fairly tight and in the same hand for the duration of the flashback. I experimented with switching hands and holding it lightly and the technique lost much of its effectiveness.
Wall Spotting
This technique involves selecting 4 or 5 brightly coloured items in the room that are easily within vision and moving your focus between them. Make sure to vary the order and allow yourself to lock onto the items briefly before shifting to the next item. Keep this up throughout the flashback and continue for a short time afterwards. Following the same pattern can actually cause you to become more involved in the flashback because your mind becomes used to the pattern and builds on it. By varying the pattern, you disrupt the thought processes involved in the flashback. I suggest continuing the eye movements for a while after the flashback ends to allow yourself to get more focused on the present since I use this technique mostly for flashbacks with a visual element.
Cold Water on Your Face
This one is simple and can help with any type of flashback. This idea is one of the first ones any of us find that helps. Remember that it can continue to help. Try and use water cold enough to give yourself a good shock. There is a bit more evidence on why this works, it is called the “Mammalian Diving Reflex” or simply the “Diving Reflex” and relies on the fact that our bodies want to survive. Sudden immersion in very cold water (below 70 degrees) triggers the Diving Reflex. The body reacts by lowering the heart rate, increasing blood pressure, and shutting down circulation to all but the body’s core. The result is a lowered metabolism that conserves energy, which helps cold water survival. This is also why near-drowning victims in cold water have a much higher survival rate. The effect on a flashback is fairly drastic. In short, the brain is shocked and interrupts the flashback to survive what may be a life-threatening immersion in freezing water. For this reason, make sure you use the coldest water available and use a good amount of it.
Source: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/component/content/article/104?start=1
Tag: coping
Today my boyfriend asked me what dysphoria looked like to me. I honestly didn’t know how to answer it, because I try to suppress it, so I’m not very good at listening to myself, and I’m not good with words. I forget things, I lie or change subject.
I don’t experience my dysphoria, it just sometimes peaks it’s ugly head up and tell me my body is horrible and something to be ashamed of. And I keep pushing myself to not let it affect me, ‘cause I don’t want to feel it.
Drawing this makes me dysphoric. It forces me to think about my situation, about my body and my future.
I should probably think about it some more. It’s not healthy not to feel your feelings, I think.
And about the surgeries.. I want top-surgery, but I can’t afford it right now. I fear bottom surgery because it can’t give me what I want, so for me, it wouldn’t be worth it, and that upsets me.
thank you for surviving
it’s much harder than some people understand
and you’re doing a great job
things are different from before, and they’ll just keep getting more and more different, until they’re better
please stay
Living with (other people’s) depression
A sort of preliminary guide to living with depression.
This came about because I’ve seen some people talking about experiences they’ve had recently with friends or family who are having a hard time dealing with a depressed person,…
Once I didn’t get out of bed except to go to the bathroom for almost three weeks. I ate crackers and peanut butter and skipped all my classes. For three weeks.
I still feel like I’m failing.
Heck, if you were that fucked up, and you lived through it, that’s actually sorta something, you know?
mother’s day reminder
as mother’s day approaches, please remember that not everyone has a healthy, stable relationship with their mom, and posts that say “if you don’t love your mom you’re a terrible person” and “you’re pretty heartless if you don’t tell your mom you love her on mother’s day” are really emotionally manipulative and akin to guilt tripping. so please be mindful of what you post/reblog this mother’s day!
LET IT GO; ”You, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” [LISTEN]
human – christina perri / i’m only human and I crash and I break down
let it go – disney /let it go, let it go and i’ll rise like the break of dawn
brave – sara bareilles / maybe one of these days you can let the light in, i want to see you be brave
be still – the killers / when they knock you down don’t break character, you’ve got so much heart
roar – katy perry / i went from zero, to my own hero.
breakaway – kelly clarkson / i’ll spread my wings and i’ll learn how to fly i’ll do what it takes til’ i touch the sky
who says – selena gomez/ who says, who says you’re not perfect?
beautiful -christina aguilera / you are beautiful no matter what they say. Words can’t bring you down.
born this way – lady gaga / don’t hide yourself in regret, just love yourself and you’re set
perfect – pink / please don’t you ever, ever feel like you’re less than fucking perfect
i am not a robot – marina and the diamonds/ you are not a robot, you’re lovable, so lovable but you’re just troubled
shake it out – florence and the machine / and it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off, its always darkest before the dawn
Gratitude: That Word Doesn’t Necessarily Mean What You Think It Means
I wrote this about a week back and hadn’t planned on posting it in my fandom space, but a fandom friend said something to me about it that made me rethink that decisions. This is a discussion of clinical depression and everything that comes with it. If any of that is triggering, I’d give this a…From the lovely, generous, thoughtful arsenicjade
1. I’m aware of what I have. I suspect many people with severe clinical depression are. And we ARE grateful for it. But being grateful is not equal to being happy, or even NOT DEPRESSED.
Depression is a chemical misfire of the brain. It’s not sadness. Sadness will come and go. Depression, if treatment-resistant, may not. And unlike “A Beautiful Mind” would have the average person believe, mental illness is not actually something you can reason your way out of.
I can no more say to myself, “It is a pretty day and breakfast was delicious and I love my dog,” and force myself out of the depression than someone without an arm can regrow that limb out of the awareness that things would be so much easier.
I almost didn’t go to therapy today, because I feel like my problems are common place, and can be solved by common sense, and I don’t want to take up time and resources that could be used by other people. And Therapist said: “You’re not ever wasting my time. You’re bi-polar, and that’s really hard for a lot of different reasons, and I’m someone who understands that. I’m here to help you.”
So now I’m crying off and on at a cafe because I’ve seen four therapists throughout my life and still don’t feel like I have a handle on how to deal with being bipolar, and I SHOULDN’T feel selfish or guilty for going to therapy. I still do, but I shouldn’t, and I’m working on treating my feelings—even the obvious ones, or ones I thought I worked through in the past—like they’re legitimate and important.
arsenicjade’s post convinced me to go to my appointment today.
This was really good to read today, for almost the same reasons. Thank you both.
Gratitude: That Word Doesn’t Necessarily Mean What You Think It Means
A lot of tumblr paganism has responded to asks dealing with the difficulties of being good to the Gods by giving spells and charms to deal with depression and anxiety. That has never worked for me, and it sometimes feels really simplistic and…misleading almost. What do you think we can do to actually help each other when dealing with mental illnesses instead of answers that do not work?
Hi anon.
For some people who are going through a rough patch, spells and charms like that are a way to hold onto something that can help. But for many more of those, they don’t help, or they are ineffective bandages.
We each have different ways of dealing with mental illnesses, and we need to make our community more open to the many ways that we approach the issue.
I think a good first step is making room for people to be open and safe about talking about mental illness. We need room for education – and education from people who actually have these illnesses or personality disorders! Without this, we will continue to get ineffective bandages. By opening the road for communication, by reducing shame around admitting illness or the problems we are facing, we open the road for better answers to our problems. So the first step we need is open communication.
And don’t think that’s easy! It’s easy on paper, but it’s hard to achieve in communities. Often, without meaning to, we demonize people by saying they are ‘crazy’ or they ‘have problems’ or ‘need to see a therapist’.
I want you to imagine a community that has people who can actually help people get therapy if that is what they need. (And that sort of thing can never and should never come from anons or someone who do not know. If it does, it’s just more ableism and shaming.)
I don’t want to clog this ask with ways to open up communication, though, so I’m going to try to get back to your question.
The second step in actually helping each other is acknowledging that we have different needs. Some people will be able to use spells to hold them through a tough time. Other people need therapy for a short time period to help them through. Other people need long term therapy, or perhaps lifelong. Others need medication. Some people need friends that they can talk to and be honest and open with. Others will need to pursue herbal healing.
We cannot demonize any of these methods. If we truly want to help people, we can’t demonize therapy or medication – or herbal healing or spiritual healing. We do need to make sure that whatever a person is using is actually helping them.
The third step is communal activism. What this means is:
- we keep an eye on each other to make sure people are doing okay – and this means everyone! We have to look out for each other.
- helping people get the resources they need – when you’re depressed or otherwise sick, getting to those resources can be almost if not actually impossible
- we support those who are dealing with illness – in a way they are comfortable with. This means not forcing people to be public about their experiences, and it also means not silencing people.
- if local, we have to make sure that our community members are being treated fairly by the medical establishment and step in to help them if they are not. We cannot let people be hurt when they are seeking help.
- and, finally, we don’t let people use mental illness as an excuse for abusive behavior. We have to make sure that we do not give a pass to abuse because someone is mentally ill. If we do, we are helping no one.
To give good answers for issues like these, we have to truly understand them. We cannot treat them as ‘just in the mind’ (the mind is powerful!), nor can we dehumanize those that have mental illnesses.
To give good answers, we have to listen to each other’s stories. Which, unfortunately, we’re not there yet. We are, currently, a very fast-paced community. That is great in some cases! But when it comes to getting answers that can help us through tough times, or through tough lives, or through dark nights of the soul – fast-paced is exactly the opposite. If we want to give good answers, provide good support, we have to sit ourselves down and open our ears and hearts up to people.
(Cheesy, I know. But when someone listens to us, truly listens, that opens up paths we would never have expected.)
We can’t know your story; we can’t know what you actually need without listening to what is going on. That is how we get good answers. That is how we get more than spells.
Problem: We have ineffective aid for people struggling with mental illness and spiritual crisis.
Ideal Solution: We need people who will patiently listen to people’s lives and stories and help them work through to useful help – whether that is seeking alternative healing, medication and therapy, or something else. In most religions, this person would be a pastoral counselor. We don’t have many of those in Pagan and polytheist communities.
Suggested Solution: Share your story aloud. Talk about what you are going through, your struggles – make a public sort of diary. Do this anonymously if you do not feel safe. Attempting to network with people who have made safe space may also be helpful.
I will attempt to post links to helpful Pagan and polytheist organizations that provide counseling or support later today (4/24).
Thank you for your question, and feel free to respond back if you want to add more.
Holding the Bowl 