I always hate it when people are all “so do you go to school, or are
you working, or” and I either have to
make up some lie, or
eventually get
around to “I am not working because of depression/anxiety,” and
subsequently have to deal with whatever bullshit-riddled and completely
unsolicited opinions on mental illness this stranger feels obligated to
share with me.
So my therapist was like, “You don’t have to do either.
You can just say you haven’t worked in a while because you’re recovering
from an illness.”
I tried it when the home inspector was here today, and it fucking worked.
He was like, “oh, I’m sorry, are you doing better now,” and I’m like
yeah, and don’t worry, it’s not contagious, awkward laugh, and we moved
on.
MY THERAPIST. IS A GENIUS. Because it is an
illness, so it’s not a lie to say that, and it’s also none of his
business to know specifically what it is, and I clearly don’t want to
give more details, so we should move on from this topic. MYTHERAPIST IS A GODDAMN GENIUS.
Dude I needed this. I never know what to say when people ask if I work because I’m severely disabled and don’t work.
REBLOG TO SAVE A LIFE HOLY SHIT
To add, this works on job interviews too. I once had to answer the ‘so whats up with this gap of 8 months in your resume where you were unemployed?” and I just said I had suffered an illness and I needed time to recover.
It’s easy enough, not a lie, and puts them on edge enough that they usually don’t go digging.
I’ve seen a post about first time wheelchair users guide. Since I’ve been using a walking stick for a while now, I thought I’d make one specifically for these types of aids. These will be in no particular order– they’re just things you probably don’t know about using a walking stick.
– if you’ve hurt you left leg/ect., hold the stick in your right hand (if possible) and if you’ve hurt your right leg/ect., hold the stick in your left hand. Trust me, your shoulders and back will thank you
– the pad of your hand will hurt– it just will. You’ll get used to it and your hand will develop more protection there eventually. To start out, look into a pair of fingerless gloves.
– a fold up/collapsable stick is good for beginners because you can take them on public transport/cars without too much hassle (they also fit nicely into desks and under chairs).
– When you’re using your stick, you only have one free hand. This may seem obvious, but it really impacts your every day life. Practice for a while around the house, so you get the feeling down.
-there are a lot of different types of walking sticks: fold up, one leg, two legs, three legs, etc.
(these are only a few of the many designs)
-if possible, go to a shop that specifies in walking sticks. ask to try a few out, they will also help make sure that you’re using on that’s the right height for you.
– a height adjustable walking stick is a miracle, especially if you want to wear high heels to an event.
– you don’t need a prescription to get a stick in most regions (but in some cases they may help get a discount)
– getting a stick that is the right height for you if very important (even with an adjustable one). Too short, and you’ll hurt your shoulder. Too tall, and you can’t put weight on it properly. The correct height is when the highest part of the handle reaches your wrist when the stick is standing straight up, as shown in this image.
– if you’re young (under the age of 60) people will stare, often they wont mean to– it is annoying but you’ll get used to it.
– again, if you’re young, people will ask why you’re using the stick, all. the. time. Even strangers will sometimes ask. You can use a really simple answer like “medical condition” and if they pry further, you can say “That’s all I’m comfortable saying”. If they don’t know you, or don’t know you well, they really have no business asking.
-Children will ask, a lot. Please be gentle with them, especially if they’re really little. I know it’s annoying but you can give children reallllllllly simple answers like “I just need it to help me walk” and most of the time they’ll be perfectly content with that and won’t ask more.
– don’t be afraid to use more advanced mobility aids if needed on bad days, or when readily available (eg. at a supermarket, when they have motorized wheelchairs for customers)
– You don’t have to use your stick every day for you to have a disability or for you to own a stick. Even if you need it once a week, once a month, you can still own one. You’re not less worthy or a mobility aid than those who need one everyday.
-Use backpacks, the ones with 2 well-padded straps that go over your shoulders evenly. Use them as much as you can. Bags that you hold in one hand or have one strap make you unbalanced or take up your only free hand.
– If you want to, decorate your stick, go all out.
Even if you don’t need/use a walking stick, please reblog this to let those who do, know this information.
I just want to reiterate that it really is okay for you to buy and use a cane even if you only use it once in a while! I was hesitant since I didn’t feel like I was “sick enough” to buy a cane, but on those days when I need it, it’s an enormous help. I was embarrassed to use it out in public at first, but you get over it. Me not falling is more important than people staring.
And I wanted to suggest that you practice walking with your cane at home a bit before you use it in public, so you get the rhythm down before walking any significant distance.
Also, if you really lean on your cane, do yourself a favor and get one with a padded handle. I also recommend the kind with a loop that goes over your wrist, because then you can momentarily let go to use your hand for something else without dropping the cane. It’s super convenient.
PS: If you were a fan of House M.D. like I was, remember that he deliberately used his cane the wrong way. He used his cane on the same side as his bad leg, and you’re not supposed to do that unless, for example, you’re going up/down some stairs and need to hold onto the railing with that hand. Don’t do that for any significant amount of time.
Since moving to a state with one of the highest rates of opioid deaths, my new provider discontinued my Tramadol, a synthetic opiate I used for moderate to severe pain. He “wasn’t comfortable” writing the prescription I’d taken for 1.5 years without abuse. Referred to Cleveland Clinic for pain management, we made the four-hour trek with hopes of more specialized view about my pain and management…
You feel like shit is a website set up to help you get out of that funk/improve things just enough to not feel horrible and miserable all the time. It’s amazing.
Whether you struggle with mental health problems all the time or whether this is a new/temporary state for you, this guide is an easy and judgement-free self-care tool.
PLEASE TRY IT OUT! Really! You just click through the questions to answer and follow simple instructions that in the end, ideally, will help you to feel more comfortable and stable on a daily basis.
Good luck! Have fun!
Wow this self-care took is incredible.
I’m feeling ok right now and am about to settle into bed (but this was scheduled hence the early morning post) but I flipped through it for awhile just to see what it is like and holy crap it’s like a choose-your-own-adventure of self-care activities that not only aims to engage you in positive feel good behaviors but also tries to match its suggestions to your level of energy/ability/can even.
I think I am going to use this definitely when I am having a bad time but maybe also try to incorporate it into my life on at least a weekly if not a daily or semi-daily basis.
Reblogging for my followers who might have trouble remembering whether or not they’ve taken their medicine!
OH MY GOD, THIS WILL HELP ME SO MUCH. I GET SO SCARED WHEN I DON’T KNOW IF I JUST TOOK MY MEDS TWICE.
THANK YOU, I’M ABOUT TO CRY.
Let me share with you guys a product that super helps me remember if I took my meds or not (because while the above is great, I still would manage to confuse myself):
They count as soon as you put the top back on. So if I don’t know if I’ve taken my medication for the day, I can check the cap to see how long ago I opened the container! It’s brilliant!
JFC THIS IS A GAME CHANGER.
I KNOW THIS IS MY ART BLOG BUT EVERYONE WHO TAKES MEDS SHOULD SEE THIS.
People with sensory processing disorders like fibromyalgia and other chronic pain diseases have the same experience. Until I started talking to people with ADHD, I didn’t realize it wasn’t normal to spend every waking minute feeling your clothes against your skin or cataloging the changes in sound and light and smell. It wasn’t until I watched Elementary and saw the characters around Sherlock not noticing sensory details around them that he picks up that I realized it’s not normal for brains to do this.
Unlike folk with ADHD, though, I never had this experience full blown until I was in my twenties. It build gradually over about a decade, and I thought I’m just getting older. I didn’t have these issues as a young child, so my lack of focus in my mid-20s had to be age-related, not ADHD, right?
And that’s how you trick yourself into thinking you’re normal for years. It’s easier than admitting difference, even as you carefully pick out only silk and pure cotton clothes, wash everything (including yourself) in unscented soap, and eat only a handful of foods (mostly sugar, because it’s boring and you don’t have to think about it much).
Spoonies, pay attention: if you can’t focus, it may not just be the pain. What else is your brain, primed for pain signals, now also processing without end?
Too much excitement to comprehend. Reviews indicate that yes, this thing actually works! Great for folks who have trouble lifting jugs or can lose control of them.
The website says it’s not available in stores, but you can absolutely get it on Amazon 😏
The name is Felicia, but I generally go by Sammy. I’m 31 and I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, the Hypermobile type. I’m also disabled beyond that, with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from a violent assault/break-in in 2015, ASD, and Bipolar Disorder. I have worked since I was 19, quite hard honestly, but never have I managed to be able to hold down a full time position due to the level of pain I was in on a daily basis and my inability to sensory process things on a level that wasn’t overwhelming (and depression/mania cycles and anxiety also played a role, too, honestly.)
Eventually, I got my mental health under control. Mostly. Things were going good until a break in sometime in mid-August 2015 and nearly being strangled to death by a complete stranger traumatized me to the point of near agoraphobia and constant flashbacks. I have been working with several medical providers to get better and have made strides, but it’s only so far. Pain makes it, as you imagine, more difficult. And when you’re constantly getting sick and dislocating things, getting to appointments is further complicated.
I had to drop out of college a few years ago due to this pain and haven’t been able to afford to go back. In the meantime I work as a mentor to at risk and homeless K-4 youths. I love my job and I love my kids, and I’d never change it, but it’s hard to put my game face on a lot of days. And I can’t do any amount of lifting, and need to be in a chair for intensive days.
I also, as of six months ago, take care of a 60 year old mother who has serious health ailments and has not been able to work. It is a full time occupation in and of itself, and two months ago a care facility utterly neglected her care to the point that septic shock set in and she nearly died. With an 80% chance of not surviving, a miracle happened, but things are tough. Especially when none of us are working, now, and rent and bills are due. She gets LTD but it’s only 66% of what she earned before.
As for me, after ten years of being told I was a hypochondriac or that I have Multiple Sclerosis or other disorders that made no real coherent sense, I saw an amazing pain specialist this year who diagnosed me with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and it has changed my life. I’m finally getting supports I need in order to flourish and not struggle. The downside is that on state insurance, only a certain number of medical supports can be approved per year. I was furthermore denied a CADI waiver because I ‘dress well’ and am ‘intelligent.’ I don’t feel that if a corpse during an open casket is capable of fulfilling one of these, that it should be used to be denied people services they need, especially if they require complex care. Because they certainly can’t work a full time job, and neither can I, intelligent or not. Yet here we are, and here I am, out of a service that helps pay for bracing for complex and rare conditions like mine.
Which brings me to my point: Custom pieces are expensive. Thumb splints are $200+, easily through SIRIS. I had to order five today (one is a non-SIRIS brace for wrist dislocations), with only four covered, so I’m already $160 in the hole, as a disabled person not working for the rest of the summer. And I need to order more splints. Two for thumbs, and to cover one of my fingers that won’t be paid for by insurance. What about my other two fingers?
As someone who makes like $100-$300/month while waiting for SSI, this is *very* expensive. And I hate begging, I truly do, but anything helps. Especially because these fundamentally change my life by reducing my pain significantly.
I made a plumfund to help with the extraordinarily horrific costs of affording all my braces and care this summer. So uh, if you could chip in even a couple books or share this it would be incredibly fucking appreciated. Like please. I am begging. You can’t see me, but trust me, I am on my knees right now.
Hey everyone, here’s an updated on the fifth of June. I appreciate every and any reblog this gets but please, if you can afford even $5, I would love you! I’ve only raised $20 out of my $700 goal so far and I’m getting a bit nervous. I still have to order the other braces and don’t know where the money is coming from! I furthermore dislocated my right wrist and my right ring DIP joint today and was not having a good time in physical therapy as a result.
This is my birthday month and literally getting this partially to fully financed would be an amazing gift that would change my quality of life drastically. Thanks much! ❤
What helps your medical condition might not help other people
What you are comfortable doing to help heal yourself might not be in other people’s comfort zones
The choices you make medically may not be the same choices other chronically ill/disabled/nuerodivergent people make
Respect each other’s medical choices and don’t press them to try something just because it helped you; they might not be comfortable with it and it may not even benefit them.
We have enough adversity from the able-bodied community assuming we all need yoga and vegan diets, please try not to add to that when speaking to your fellow disabled friends.
Holding the Bowl 