I spent years wholeheartedly believing these four words.
This phrase consumed my thoughts to the point where I never thought I would be good enough until I could stop eating for good.
And I know I am not the only one.
If you have ever felt this way – or you feel that way now – just take a moment to remind yourself of two things:
1. PRETTY GIRLS DO EAT.
2. BEING PRETTY IS NOT THE ONLY VALUE YOU HAVE AS A WOMAN
Im not the first person to point these things out. And I sure as hell hope I am not the last. But I hope one day when you google “pretty girls eat” that you see something different.
One day I want little girls to google “pretty girls eat” and see pictures of beautiful women like this.
Women who are not only beautiful, but so much more. (and if you follow them you KNOW that they all eat!)
Fuck “pretty girls don’t eat” Because we do. And we should remind each other of that until every lost girl who has had the misfortune of believing such a terrible lie can be shown the truth:
PRETTY GIRLS EAT.
HEALTHY girls eat.
STRONG girls eat.
DETERMINED girls eat.
CONFIDENT girls eat.
SMART girls eat.
HAPPY girls eat.
PRETTY. GIRLS. EAT.
OMG I NEVER SAW THIS WTF THIS IS BEAUTIFUL
Brb crying. I wish something like this would have been around when I was dealing with eating disorders. This is beautiful.
I think there is a lot of confusion amongst the transgender community about what constitutes gender dysphoria. Everyone is going to have a different experience, and while there will almost always be commonalities, you can’t make sweeping statements and expect everyone to fall under that definition. Websites with lists of symptoms like ‘depression’, ‘anxiety’, and ‘low self esteem’ really don’t help much – they all seem to imply you know it if you are gender dysphoric, but from spending even an hour in the FTM tag on Tumblr you’d know that’s clearly not the case for plenty of young people.
I would define gender dysphoria as feelings of discontent, dissociation or depression regarding a person’s biological sex. I would also tack on a disclaimer stating that these feelings shouldn’t solely be caused by society or other people – if your only source of discomfort with your gender comes from ‘the way society sees me as [gender]’ then you need to seriously rethink whether you need medical transition.
However, this definition doesn’t explain how ‘feelings of discontent, dissociation or depression’ could manifest, so here’s a list of possibilities. I’m going to use the term sex-typical to mean characteristics due to your biological sex, such as prominent hips or breasts for FTM people, or broad shoulders or facial hair for MTF people.
Discontent:
feeling ashamed or embarrassed by your body, specifically by sex-typical features
not being able to fit into the type of clothes you want to wear because of your sex-typical body shape
feeling like you are not living the life you should be
feeling uncomfortable in gender-specific spaces such as bathrooms or women’s or men’s support groups
Dissociation:
surprise or discomfort when sex-typical traits are touched/bumped (eg forgetting you have breasts, then holding something to your chest and feeling them)
inability to mentally picture your body in sexual situations
a sense of disconnect or lack of understanding about your emotional responses
inability to relate to discussions of what is expected of people your gender (eg talking about ‘one day, when you’re a mum/dad’)
not feeling close to other people of your biological sex (note: this doesn’t mean ‘I’m not like the other girls, they’re all popular and into fashion and I’m edgy and different’, I’m talking about a severe lack of understanding or disconnect from the majority of men/women)
(FTM specific) forgetfulness with regards to menstrual periods
Depression:
long term feelings of anxiety or depression about your sex-typical characteristics OR with no recognisable cause
desire to self-harm or cause harm to/remove your genitals
in sexual people, a lack of sex drive due to discomfort with your genitals or feelings of shame, embarrassment or depression during/after sex
extreme discomfort or disgust with sex-typical bodily functions (eg growing facial hair for MTF people or menstrual periods for FTM people)
a sense of fatalism or resignation towards a future living as your birth gender – feeling like there’s no hope for the future or that there is nothing to look forward to
Standard disclaimer that I’m only trying to provide helpful information, this is in no way definitive, your personal experience may be different, and so on. This isn’t supposed to act as a diagnostic chart, but rather to give you something to think about if you’re still not sure. Medical transition is a huge step, and if you don’t currently experience gender dysphoria, the changes induced by HRT could well kick start it back towards your biological sex. So please, think long and hard about where your feelings are coming from, what’s causing them, and whether medical transition will help, before jumping into something with irreversible and potentially unwanted effects.
Here is a handy link that helps describes some differences between dysmorphia and dysphoria:
1. Your body is in flux for the rest of your life. Think of your body as fluid instead of static — it’s always going to change. So get comfortable with those changes.
2. No one will love you or not love you because of your body. You are lovable because you’re you, not because your body looks a certain way.
3. The most intensely personal relationship you’ll ever have is with your body. It’s a lifelong relationship that’s well worth investing in and nurturing the same way you would with loved ones.
4. You don’t owe your body to anyone. Not sexually, not aesthetically. Your body is yours. Period.
5. What someone else says about your body says more about them than it does about you. Look past the actual snark to the person who’s saying it, because it’s only a reflection of what they think of themselves. That’s when you’ll see how little power their words have.
6. Your body is not a reflection of your character. It’s a physical home for the complex and wondrous and unique being that is you.
7. Take up as much space as you want. You don’t have to be small, or quiet, or docile, regardless of your physical size.
8. Everything you need to accept your body is already inside you. There’s no book, or diet, or workout routine or external affirmation that you need to feel good about your body right now.
9. Your body is a priority. It’s always trying to tell you things. Taking the time to listen to is of the utmost importance.
10. Wear whatever you want. Your body shape does not dictate your personal style, and fashion rules that say otherwise are wrong. Dress yourself in a way that makes you feel happy and confident and beautiful, because guess what? You are.
Holding the Bowl 