Praise and thanks unto Sigyn and Loki for their assistance when I need aid, and a good kick in the pants when I need to get off my ass and do it my own self.
I would look out for things corresponding to Sigyn, making several appearances that are not related to you attempting to be in places where they would normally be found (aka, don’t be surprised to see a husky outside at the park! But, be surprised to hear it be mentioned on the radio, either as a brand name, or the dog type.)
Some correspondences of Sigyn’s are:
Colors: Green & Yellow (Associated with Faith) Apple Trees “The Star” or “Wand” cards in Tarot Tigers, Turtles, Nuthatches, Grasshoppers Look for people named “Iris” or “Heather”, or the flowers in large abundance or as gifts. Also look for symbolism in Unicorns, Bowls (Basins), and the mention of Faith, Compassion, and Wifehood.
A general rule of thumb is to look for 3 unrelated signs within a period of a week. The signs must be experienced in places where it would be abnormal/rare or even impossible. Once you are able to confirm these 3 signs, ask Sigyn to create a sign especially for you, to confirm that it is her… Make up something that you wouldn’t see in every day life. For instance, a Purple Elephant, the mentioning of a certain poem, or symbol. It has to be something that is extremely rare to see, but not absolutely impossible/ridiculous. And don’t brush it off when you do see this sign! Seeing a picture of an elephant through a purple drink counts.
Now, “brothers” is where things get a leeeeettle murky. It’s not clear if They share the same parents as Loki. We don’t know anything much about His brothers. But Helblindi is also a name for Oðinn. Oðinn, like Loki, has two brothers, Hoenir and Loðurr. I particularly suspect – as some scholars have suggested – that Loðurr is another name for Loki, as He’s paired up with Hoenir and Oðinn in other stories as well. So are they blood brothers or brothers true? I wonder if that’s an important distinction.
a weird thing about having developed mental illness at such a young age is i honestly don’t know sometimes how much of me is a symptom and how much is down to personality, like i honestly do not know my core self and it troubles me A Lot
I kinda think that my core self is perpetually terrified and miserable and there’s no way to change that.
And that’s kinda terrifying and miserable…
I think the idea of a core self is a little bit misleading. We are all sort of summaries of our experience. Even the parts of us that don’t work like they should are still parts of us. Some things can be fluid – as a personal example, the severity of my depression has fluctuated throughout my life. I have periods of years where it’s mild, periods of years where it’s terrible, sometimes with periods of months or weeks where it slides back and forth on the scale. But I wasn’t a different ‘me’ when my depression was different. I was just having different particular difficulties at that time.
I only offer this because you (OP) said it troubles you a lot not knowing your core self. I don’t actually know if thinking of it this way is helpful – that all of you is you, including the fucked up parts. Even if your mental illness was not so severe, even if you suffered the same symptoms for an external reason, those experiences would still be part of who you are and you still would have adapted to respond to them. Maybe you’re ALWAYS you, and the only thing that changes is how difficult it is to be you right now.
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Holding the Bowl 