I AM ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN
I AM ALLOWED TO CRY OVER SIMPLE THINGS
I AM FULLY AWARE THAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE PROBLEMS TOO AND THEY ARE PROBABLY WORSE OFF THAN I AM
DO NOT REMIND ME OF THAT WHEN I AM UPSET
MY FEELINGS ARE VALID
I AM ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN
WHAT IS SIMPLE TO YOU COULD BE STRESSFUL TO ME
STOP TELLING ME TO THINK ABOUT PEOPLE THAT HAVE IT WORSE
STOP STOP STOP
Category: Uncategorized
Despite what you may believe, you can disappoint people and still be good enough. You can make mistakes and still be capable and talented. You can let people down and still be worthwhile and deserving of love. Everyone has disappointed someone they care about. Everyone messes up, lets people down, and makes mistakes. Not because we’re inadequate or fundamentally inept, but because we’re imperfect and fundamentally human. Expecting anything different is setting yourself up for failure.
Daniell Koepke (via fairestregal)
LET IT GO; ”You, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” [LISTEN]
human – christina perri / i’m only human and I crash and I break down
let it go – disney /let it go, let it go and i’ll rise like the break of dawn
brave – sara bareilles / maybe one of these days you can let the light in, i want to see you be brave
be still – the killers / when they knock you down don’t break character, you’ve got so much heart
roar – katy perry / i went from zero, to my own hero.
breakaway – kelly clarkson / i’ll spread my wings and i’ll learn how to fly i’ll do what it takes til’ i touch the sky
who says – selena gomez/ who says, who says you’re not perfect?
beautiful -christina aguilera / you are beautiful no matter what they say. Words can’t bring you down.
born this way – lady gaga / don’t hide yourself in regret, just love yourself and you’re set
perfect – pink / please don’t you ever, ever feel like you’re less than fucking perfect
i am not a robot – marina and the diamonds/ you are not a robot, you’re lovable, so lovable but you’re just troubled
shake it out – florence and the machine / and it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off, its always darkest before the dawn
Welcome to Wellness Wednesday
This week’s topic is Comfort Boxes.
-What is a comfort box?
A comfort box is a very easy form of at home therapy / self care that is pretty basic to put together. All you need is a box (or bag) and somethings that you love. The idea is that you have this wonderful things that make you happy gathered in one place and when you need it, it’s all right there for you.
-What do I put in a comfort box?
Anything that has a positive influence on the way you think! Ideas include, but are no means limited to,:
crayons and some coloring pages
a positive book, poem, comic, etc.
your favorite smell good items
a journal
a favorite CD
a sweet letter from a loved one or from yourself to yourself
things that remind you of your positive accomplishments
-Why is a comfort box is a good idea for mental health wellness?
Having an easy to reach group of items that make you happy is always a good idea. If you’re like me, you might get frustrated pretty easily and frustration might set in faster if you’re already experiencing an intense mood such as anxiety or depression, if I need one of these things that I know will help calm me down and for whatever reason I can’t find it, it’s only going to make the situation worse, having them in a safe place makes getting to my “happy place” that much easier.
When you’re experiencing an intense mood and you need to calm yourself, a distraction is the best place to start, for some of us, we turn to negative distractions, usually because they are the first to come to mind and easiest to access. Having a comfort box changes this, now your easiest distraction is full of positive options.
-What’s in your comfort box?
My comfort box itself just makes me happy because I love Marvel and I was so happy to find this empty Marvel shoe box. Inside the box are:
An 11th Doctor Hello Kitty that my Aunt made for me Christmas before Last.
A pack of Crayons
A rustic looking set of playing cards that I use to play solitaire or just shuffle and organize over again as a quick distraction.
“Bali Sunrise” soy candle from Target
Sinful Colors nail polish in “Midnight Blue” (when it’s on it’s TARDIS blue)
Solana Beach body cream from Hollister
And last but not least, the paper version of my license. Having my drivers license and being able to comfortably drive a car by myself is something I never thought I would achieve. Some of my worst anxiety driven fears involve cars. I was 21 before I had my license and it took three tries, but I keep that paper as a reminder that I am stronger than I know and my fears can be conquered.
Hopefully this post on comfort boxes encourages you to put together one of your own.
xx Dev
Gratitude: That Word Doesn’t Necessarily Mean What You Think It Means
I wrote this about a week back and hadn’t planned on posting it in my fandom space, but a fandom friend said something to me about it that made me rethink that decisions. This is a discussion of clinical depression and everything that comes with it. If any of that is triggering, I’d give this a…From the lovely, generous, thoughtful arsenicjade
1. I’m aware of what I have. I suspect many people with severe clinical depression are. And we ARE grateful for it. But being grateful is not equal to being happy, or even NOT DEPRESSED.
Depression is a chemical misfire of the brain. It’s not sadness. Sadness will come and go. Depression, if treatment-resistant, may not. And unlike “A Beautiful Mind” would have the average person believe, mental illness is not actually something you can reason your way out of.
I can no more say to myself, “It is a pretty day and breakfast was delicious and I love my dog,” and force myself out of the depression than someone without an arm can regrow that limb out of the awareness that things would be so much easier.
I almost didn’t go to therapy today, because I feel like my problems are common place, and can be solved by common sense, and I don’t want to take up time and resources that could be used by other people. And Therapist said: “You’re not ever wasting my time. You’re bi-polar, and that’s really hard for a lot of different reasons, and I’m someone who understands that. I’m here to help you.”
So now I’m crying off and on at a cafe because I’ve seen four therapists throughout my life and still don’t feel like I have a handle on how to deal with being bipolar, and I SHOULDN’T feel selfish or guilty for going to therapy. I still do, but I shouldn’t, and I’m working on treating my feelings—even the obvious ones, or ones I thought I worked through in the past—like they’re legitimate and important.
arsenicjade’s post convinced me to go to my appointment today.
This was really good to read today, for almost the same reasons. Thank you both.
Gratitude: That Word Doesn’t Necessarily Mean What You Think It Means
Desert Rose
I found it in a world of heat and sand
Blooming in the parched soil of disillusion
A single bud, sweet and scarlet
Drenched in morning dew
Rarest of treasures in this desolate land
Heartbreaking beauty in a bed of pain
Bending with the winds that sweep the dunes
Not just surviving…
But thriving
And you, my Lady of the Staying Power
You have wandered through the deserts of despair
Withstood the flames of wrath, all undeserving
As they ripped your family from your arms
Then left you alone
Catching poison in the dark
Take a look around at what you’ve come through
Bending, never broken, standing tall
Sigyn, never has another been s
Communicating with Children: You Make the Difference
Rule #1: Listen! Listen! Listen!
When your children want to talk, stop everything. If you continue what you were doing, they will think you don’t care and don’t have time for them. Avoid jumping in and not letting them vent or discuss their concerns, worries, and fears. In life, sometimes we all need a shoulder to cry on. At times, we don’t even want advice or comments. Other times, we just want to be heard and to feel like someone shares our pain. A silent and sympathetic ear is sometimes the best thing we can give to our children.
Here are a few words that show we are listening:
- Tell me more!
- I know.
- Wow!
- That is just awful.
- I am here.
- Go ahead; let it out.
Rule #2: Remember, there is power in choice.
When you are talking to your children, give them a choice whenever possible. Allow them to feel you are talking with them and asking them rather than talking at them and telling them. Make conversations a two-way street rather than a power struggle.
Rule #3: Avoid untrue statements and things said out of anger and frustration.
Your children will learn to listen and believe when you speak to them truthfully and calmly. Trust and respect come from honesty and sincerity. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it.
Rule #4: Be a source of encouragement.
When your children confide in you, they should feel relieved, inspired, and recharged, rather than guilty or that they are a source of disappointment to you. When they come to you with a problem or situation, offer your ear as well as words of encouragement.
The following are examples of words of encouragement:
- I know you can handle it.
- Every problem has a solution, even this.
- Think it over; you will figure this out.
- I am here to help you.
- I went through this at your age, like when…
Rule #5: Make your conversations places of comfort.
Try to step away from being the parent when listening, and put yourself in your child’s shoes. Think about how difficult the conversation may be for your child, and think before you react.
Rule #6: Avoid the 20 questions or drill routine.
Try not to take over the conversation. If children share something with you and feel like they are being scolded or like they are disappointing you, they probably will not let it happen again. As a parent, there will be times when you must address an issue your child discusses with you; be sure you address the behavior or action and not the child.
Rule #7: Make a point of being the initiator.
Out of the blue, follow up on a previous subject of interest before your child comes to you. This reinforces for your child that you care and also brings you into your child’s circle.
Rule #8: Take time to share.
A busy parent is not always the best parent. Drop everything and do something spontaneous like taking in a movie on a school night or doing homework in the park.
Rule #9: Apologize when you are wrong.
If you say something or do something you probably shouldn’t have, say you are sorry. Admit that you too are human and make mistakes.
Rule #10: Love Them!
Don’t just love them…tell them you love them. Show them affection just as you did when they were small. Bake a cake for no occasion, play a game, take a walk after dinner. Show your love by showing them there is no better time spent than with them.
9 Steps to Better Communication
Relationships don’t exist in a vacuum. They exist between two emotional human beings who bring their own past experiences, history, and expectations into it.
1. Stop and listen.
2. Force yourself to hear.
3. Be open and honest with your partner.
4. Pay attention to nonverbal signals.
5. Stay focused in the here and now.
6. Try to minimize emotion when talking about important, big decisions.
7. Be ready to cede an argument.
8. Humor and playfulness usually help.
9. Communicating is more than just talking.
This is glorious and even thought it doesn’t fit in the range of all the paranormal, creepy and science I usually post, I MUST share
It works like this: You tell Kitestring that you’re in a dangerous place or situation, and give it a time frame of when to check in on you. If you don’t reply back when it checks your status, it’ll alert your emergency contacts with a custom message you set up.
It doesn’t require you to touch anything (like bSafe) or shake your phone (like Nirbhaya) to send the distress signal. Kitestring is smarter, because it doesn’t need an action to alert people, it needs inaction.
BOOST
Resources for Male Survivors
I posted last week asking people if they knew of some good resources for male victims of sexual assault. Here is the list people came up with:
Thanks everyone!
Holding the Bowl 