Devotional blog dedicated to the Goddess Sigyn offering support to those who are "holding the bowl" within difficult relationships.
Author: Sephira
Born and raised primarily in Northern Virginia, my family and I moved to North Carolina in 2006. Married for over 20 years, my husband and I have two boys and a gaggle of cats.
For me, writing is a great stress reliever. I can let my mind wander and let my emotions run free in a way that is generally not possible in my normal everyday life. My writings run the gamut in terms of style and genre – for instance my first novel is a historical romance set in the Civil War, but some of the other things I have in the works are fantasy or thrillers, among other things.
It probably goes without saying, but my poetry is somewhat eclectic in nature, and again while some may feel the need to stick with a particular form, I tend to write just whatever comes to mind. Let the winds of inspiration lead me on…
I’m always interested in comments and feedback. So please feel free to share your thoughts with me!
Do y’all refet to your deities by casual nicknames when talking about them to your friends?
for instance, I usually call Aphrodite “The Main” for some reason
Kemetics do it a lot. I can’t count all the nicknames in use! (I rarely use nicknames personally though)
I call Hethert by Hathy or Moo Mom
I affectionately call Zeus, Papa or Sky Dad and Demeter, Mama or Grain Mom. I have other terms of endearment for the Deities I’m closest to. Rhea is the exception though, since I don’t really worship her but I have a lot of respect and affection for her. So because of that I reverently call her Grandmother.
Baepollo. lol.
My sibling calls all the theoi my “peeps”
…big z tho
Lucifer is “Lu” and Michael is Mike.
Pop Culture entities are The Gallery. :3
Anupet is Jackal Mom.
Osiris is Kingly Dad, or just Dad, or Mr. Wingdings if he’s giving me riddles.
I am so very, very Nicknames. Heru-wer is Bird Dad. Nut is…well, okay, Nut is boring, nickname-wise. She’s just Grandmother, or Star Mom (because lbr Star Grandma just doesn’t have a good ring to it). Then there’s Wepwawet, who is alternately Wep, Wepy, Wep-man, or Party Dog.
Heru-wer is alternatively Hawk Dad or Bird Dad, Hethert is Cow Mom, Hera is Peacock Mom or Bird Mom, and Hekate is Creepy Lady
Wepwawet is Dad or Jackal. Heru-wer=Big Bird. Odin is Himself or Old Man. I call two Goddesses Mom but otherwise They don’t get nicknames from me.
Sekhmet is Moms, Maaaaaaa, Mommy, Lion Lady. Ptah is maybedad. Heru-Wer is H-dubs or birb dude. Hathor is Holy Cow. Djehuty is just Beaky or Beakster. Anup is That Guy. Geb is geese guy or park face. Mut is Turkey Lips.
Bast is The Mom or Cat Mom for me usually
Odin is The Old Man. In my head I sometimes call Him Mr Taskmaster. Loki is Himself, or Trouble. Sigyn is Sweet Lady.
I talk about Loki a lot, and other deities not much at all. But in fact Sigyn is just as important to me as Loki is. They come as a set, most of the time; not always together, but never far from each other.
The week before last on ANTM, the Deaf contestant won best photo. His prize? A full hour in which none of the hearing contestants were allowed to speak, but instead, had to communicate in American Sign Language. Nyle of course,was all too happy to teach his competition his language.
But in the middle of it, there’s Devin, who does something hearing people usually do when confronted with a d/Deaf/HoH person.
He shouts at her.
Devin knows that the woman is Deaf. She’s actually a friend of Nyle’s from way back and is there specifically to help Nyle teach them ASL. Yet he felt the need to shout at her. This is really rude, but not all together a terrible thing to do.
Flash forward to last week’s episode, where Devin does it again.
Which, to Nyle’s credit, he takes in good stride.
By shouting back at Devin. And of course, everyone claps like it’s a party trick. Various fans have expressed glee and excitement to hear him speak. Which, maybe it’s pretty cool, but it demonstrates total lack of awareness re:Deaf speech. I have no idea what Nyle’s background in speaking is, other than that he’s a 4th generation deaf individual.
Deaf people can learn to speak, but it’s honestly superfluous because they can already communicate via Sign. It can also be really difficult depending on how deaf the indivdual is. There’s only two reasons for a Deaf person to speak: (a) because the hearing experts around them insist they learn to speak; or (b) because they genuinely want to learn how on their own. Most deaf people won’t speak even if they can because they have such a complicated relationship with speech.
For decades, deaf children were forbidden to Sign to each other and instead taught to speak because hearing experts thought they would need the ability to verbalize if they were ever going to be successful. Children caught signing in class would have their hands chained to the desk or would wear mittens on their hands that prevented them from signing. Hours that could have been spent on learning complex subjects like science or mathematics were instead spent on perfecting speech.
Given that Nyle was born into an already Deaf family, and given that he was probably raised on Sign Language, I doubt he had that experience. However, many deaf/HoH children today are mainstreamed, and part of mainstreaming is that they go to speech class to work on weeding out their deaf accent. I spent grades k-8 working on that, and I still have mine.
The point here, is that Nyle went above and beyond. He not only keeps trying to teach everyone to sign, but he also verbalized the phrase “happy birthday” to please Devin (who so clearly loves being loud). Yet, later on, this happens…
On the surface for any hearing person, this seems pretty harmless. A little inconsiderate, maybe. Except, Nyle’s phone is his way of communicating with the hearing people around him. None of the contestants know ASL fluently, so he types out what he wants to say to them on his phone, and they respond. Having grown up in a Deaf family, he is using his second language to communicate with others. Nyle eventually gets up, leaves the party, and gives this confessional.
There’s also an earlier scene from an interview that helps explain his experience living in a household full of hearing people.
Nyle tries really hard to communicate with his cast mates, and few of them seem to attempt to do the same for him. I would give the cast the benefit of the doubt here, except I know all too well how hard it is to get hearing people to communicate with me in ASL. Even I am guilty of falling back on English because it’s my first language. I have no doubt that the cast is just too used to the world around them being designed for hearing people to put much effort into learning American Sign Language. And in fact, once the contestants realize that Nyle left and find out why, they speak to each other in a way that doesn’t include Nyle, even though he’s right there.
Courtney is literally sitting on Nyle’s lap, but she’s using English and talking about Nyle as if he isn’t in the room. Nyle can’t even be included in the conversation about the fact that he was excluded. Talk about irony.
One contestant does sign “SORRY” at Nyle, but it’s too little, too late.
In the end, I’ll leave you with this tidbit from Nyle that broke my heart.
“I feel like everyone around me secretly hates me.”
“I can’t help feeling like I’m being humoured.”
“I know other people find me annoying even if they don’t say it.”
Sound familiar? Probably. Tumblr is a haven to all sorts of anxiety-burdened folks, and there’s a reasonable chance you’re one.
The above is a type of distorted thinking calledMind Reading. It’s an extremely common cognitive component of social anxiety.
It’s called mind reading because the essential nature of it is founded in the assumption you know what other people think and feel without concrete evidence that this is the case.
Logically, you can step back and tell yourself that maybe your friend is feeling a little unwell or has something on her mind she’s not ready to talk about yet, but we both know your anxiously vibrating brain has already decided that it’s because she views hanging out with you as a chore.
But here’s the thing: recognizing distorted thinking is the first step to changing it. Cognitive distortions aren’t totally unlike addictions in that way- once you truly recognize and accept that you have one, you can go about doing something about it.
This is a key component of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.
It’s a form of therapy that bases itself around the principle of giving sufferers of mental illness the tools they need to treat the peripheral symptoms of their core anxiety. Medication can be great for treating that core, but it doesn’t actually alter the behaviours or thought processes that you’ve developed as a result of years spent trying to cope.
If you have a habit of trying to read minds, you’re probably already really good at constantly questioning yourself. Self-doubt is definitely a thing in anxiety sufferers, too.
So question yourself productively: when you find yourself deciding how someone else feels about you, ask yourself if you’re being fair to them. Do you like it when people make assumptions about you? (They probably make you anxious, don’t they? Especially when they’re positive assumptions, because you’re sure you’ll disappoint.)
Question yourself when it matters. You’re really good at that, right? It seems like such a little thing, but it makes a world of difference.
Don’t let the only time you trust your own judgement be when it’s saying terrible things about you. That’s the starting point you need to go from.
When your mind tells you,
“You know they’re just putting up with you because they’re nice, right?”